Tuesday, October 21, 2014

a parable

I work with a woman who, in the most shitty, boring, derivative, uninteresting way, constantly regales everyone around her with lurid details of her personal life, mostly of a sexual nature. It's gotten to the point where 100% of the women and about 98.9% of the men won't even engage with her anymore, just out of sheer disgust. Like no one who knows me would ever accuse me of being anything less than enthusiastic about filthy jokes and offensive humor/subjects in general but man. There is such a huge difference between stuff that's clever and funny and dirty and stuff that's just a sad fucking plea for sexual attention because you've reduced yourself to having nothing else to offer. The latter is super unnerving to listen to, like watching someone beg for validation right before your eyes. She's a thirty-four year old adult who subjects you to nonstop inane prattle about herself, delivering all her material in the most terrible dumb lame Stand Up Comic Voice, and has I think literally never said anything that wasn't deeply and tragically unoriginal. It sucks. I don't know if it's her goal to just make as huge an ass out of herself as possible or what but that is what she has achieved. Like you feel real fucken bad for her because Jesus Christ what a sad empty creep, but also totally skeeved out and angry, because why the fuck is it ok for her to totally emotionally molest everyone all day every day. Super super super shitty. Anyway recently we had a work meeting and she had the sheer idiot gall to raise her hand and complain about getting too much sexual attention. It's been a year and a half of us all just trying to get through the day without being subjected to whatever gross pathetic wheedling she's angling for at the moment, and so it was a shock to hear her say this but also kind of a relief. Like oh she is just literally out of her fucking mind ok got it. Afterwards I was saying how it would be the equivalent of me or Rachel, who love dogs and talk about them all day, raising our hands and complaining that people try and talk to us about dogs. Batshit.