i m tryin here, i m tryin hard

some of this is just evolutionary, psychophysiological.  my brain is wired like a nest, yours like a bird.  in your vision of things it is clear that you'll return, but till you do i am a hollow man i am a stuffed man. my dried voice quiet and meaningless as rats' feet over broken glass.
and then some of this is specifically what i am in therapy and on medication for.  NOTHING WILL EVER BE ALL RIGHT.