liddle tiny miniature horrifying monstrosity. with liddle scary dogthings to carry him!

i mean i was fine all day, just when the sun went down i was kinda fucked a little.

this is in response to an inquiry from a non-floridian reader, i forgot to mention that.

that diamondback could swallow a cat whole *litrilly* without even even thinking about it, *swears*.

tuuesday aaafternooon.

i get a little big for my britches sometimes but a quick disgusting vision of a fish getting its eyeball thumbed will generally set me straight.

especially a t-bone, i loved to gnaw a t-bone.

this little goblin was just hunkered up on the shopping carts like that's a regular or okay place to lurk.

dad likes when any of us three plays awesome but he still just mercilessly whips shit out of us in the end.

truly for many people in the world today it remains one of the Grate Mysteries, how to go through security.

preeeeetty intense. pretty, pretty, pretty intense.

i have been buying nines for years.

well i will be in the swamp for easter so i donno how much i'll get to upload the next few days but nobody freak out i am probably not dead.

*i* wanted i love you but i've chosen darkness but apparently *i* am not in charge of everything. FINE.

the implication being that we are the best of friends, not that you die on a bus or are a small obnoxious man.

one might say not merely *mysterious* ways but, on the face of them, kind of *dickish* ways. but whatevar.

business plan #2: monitor aisle-farters for snack/limp pillow-desires. IN THE AIR.

now here's a lady with all the different kinds of babies, even the coveted little pink poofie bear baby.

i loooooove going home for easter.

o the liddle head, so full of bears.

yeah exactly. just mad doggin me from my lemony snickets EVery day.

i also found a wonderful dfw quote to illustrate that dirty psychotic of a cat, which i will share as soon as i've illustrated it.

but this is how we *learn* manners, by practicing with weirdos.

outta circulation till the dogs get tirrred

yooooou jockstrap

you are wearing 3D glasses with the lenses popped out and your research library is wikipedia, PROFESSOR.

she is a sunday school teacher, i for my part am a cussy scoundrel.

to be fair, there were yeeeears when i was just SET on fucken nosedivin into the damn dry well. so tryin a just tap it is progress.

it was unclear what she meant. and i never know what is happening.

jeeze what a terrible attitude.

dfw @ word.

clearly i was everyone's favorite. except the grownups. i was not any of the grownups' favorite.

o just my bumpin-ass walkman nbd.

stupendous.

so then i went home and carved judith 4evarr into my arm juuust like marky fucken mark.

(this is not real time hair. i don't remember what our hairs looked like. i think: short. but whatever.)

i don't know how to draw anthony so i drew this guy.

aw-uh honey honey.

my sister recommends that i not say "rulinest" (ever) but i have assessed that sister to be part ape, and so.

one hunnert :D

hate to see me leave but love to watch me...um...show you the back of my tanktop.

the worst.

tip: go have a little franny collapse in the bathroom and you will be in much better shape after a minute or so.

right? who would begrudge me that. just a sweet sweet little sweet doze.

nota bene: i *have* however barfed on the train. that was mad nasty.

see in *this* totally overwrought analogy the pig is my heart. training the willful stubborn pig of the heart is a practice that takes much patience. that fucker srsly just wants to eat trash ALL the TIME.

business plan: become helpful assistant to jetsetting literary type.

these socks are in my bookcase! i have other socks in the dollhouse, too, dooon't worry.

ready.

which cat is that who can even tell anymore

luckily one of my superpowers is getting showered and dressed in under nine minutes

to be fair i needed those eggs boiled, it's not like i did NOTHING.

ALSO to clarify: what happened was I put eggs on to boil and FORGOT them so that is why the house stinked.  Because they had boiled down to explosions.  Eggsplosions . . . I heard a horrible shebang and was like DAMN A CAT but it was my eggs